HOW TO PRETEND YOU ARE AN MBA

Those of us used to writing technical and business
reports know how difficult it can be to use just the right
phrase to convey the true depth of your topic. Now,
professionals and students alike can seem like etymological geniuses, thanks to  the “Systematic Buzz Phrase Projector” created by Phillip Broughton, a U.S. Public Health Service official.
Using only  30 carefully chosen buzz words, you can woo your way
through any written or oral presentation: 

*Column 1*     *Column 2*        *Column 3* 
0. integrated 0. management 0. options 
1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 
2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 
3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 
4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 
5. responsive 5. logistical 5. concept 
6. optional 6. transitional 6. time-phase 
7. synchronized 7. incremental 7. projection 
8. compatible 8. third-generation 8. hardware 
9. balanced 9. policy 9. contingency 

USAGE: Randomly pick any three-digit number. Now
select the corresponding buzzword from each column. For instance, “768” produces “synchronized transitional hardware”, or
“539” yields “responsive reciprocal contingency”, a phrase which
can be dropped into any report with the ring of authority.

“No one will have any idea what you’re talking about,” says
Broughton, “but they’re probably not about to admit it.” 

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